Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
