I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
