I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
