honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
