3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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