I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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