I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Someone shit on the floor
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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