Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
