I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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