just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
