his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As shirtless as possible
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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