That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
