i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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