I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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