What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
