he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
