So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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