yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
