tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
