Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
