I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he puts the penis in happiness.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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