great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
