Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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