I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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