hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
