its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
