Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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