"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
not ubering you a puppy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
