And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
This is my gift to your gina
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You ruined the universe
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
