we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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