stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
