wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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