So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
