What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
