I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
