how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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