whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
