I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
