On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
