so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
