I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
