Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
FUCK WHALES
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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