the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
