i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
did you just send me my own nude
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
