I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
