so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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