it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
