the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
