real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
