I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
